‘I knew it made no money’: After her divorce, Kate bought her dream shop thanks to arrogance

There can be something incredibly empowering about buying something just for yourself. And for many women, divorce marks the moment they have the financial autonomy to make a symbolic purchase that aligns with how they want their life to look.

“A divorce is a time for redefining and reshaping your lifestyle,” says divorce coach Naomi Cao. “Women often purchase things that they’ve wanted for a long time. Now they don’t have to ask for permission or an opinion from their partner before they do it.”

Women are at a much higher risk of falling into poverty after divorce than men, losing an average 29 per cent of their household income after divorce, compared to men who lose around 5 per cent. And while wealth loss peaks for both men and women eight years after divorce, research shows that women who are financially literate recover faster than men.

Cao says the divorced women she works with become very resourceful, slowly rebuilding their financial independence: “They are often really creative and resilient, and these purchases can be cathartic. It’s not about the monetary value of what you buy. It’s a … testament to what you’ve been through, and survived.”

Here, three women share the extraordinary purchase they made to celebrate their newfound financial independence.

“By the time my ex-husband and I separated eight years ago, we had become just friends. There was no nastiness or arguments; we were indifferent to each other. It was incredibly sad. You never marry anyone thinking it’s going to end.

Divorce is scary because you realise no one is coming to put money in your bank account: you are on your own. Everything is more expensive, too: you can’t split bills or superannuation contributions. Equally, one of the joys of separating was becoming financially independent. I’d always been the main breadwinner, but I still felt I had to ask him if I could spend money.

After our divorce, I threw myself into my digital-marketing business and made it very successful; I wanted to create a secure future for my son. Then, a few years ago, I got an email from the owner of my local bookshop, Umina Beach Book Nook [on the NSW Central Coast], saying she was going to shut the shop in a week because she couldn’t find a buyer. I decided to buy it, and paid it off over six months.

If I’d had to ask my ex, he would have said no because he is a more considered person who thinks things through. I knew it made no money but I slightly arrogantly thought, ‘I can turn this around’ – and I have.

People stop me in the street to talk to me about characters in the books I’ve recommended, and kids tell me about what they’re reading. I feel more bonded to the community now; we live in such a digital world that people appreciate having somewhere to go for a real conversation. I’ll soon be an empty-nester and this has been a great way to make friends and secure me a retirement job.

If you’re coming out of divorce, know that there are so many more chapters to come. I’ve learnt that I’m so much more capable than I ever thought I was. Buying the shop has really tested me but I’ve succeeded and I’m really proud of myself.”

”My ex-husband and I lived the high life, with a big Sydney house, luxury cars and ski holidays with our kids. He was the main breadwinner, while I raised the children and managed the house, garden and renovations. When the marriage ended 15 years ago, I simplified things.

I went back to the way I was raised by my migrant French parents, who arrived in Australia with three suitcases and $200 and never had a bank loan or credit card. I moved from Sydney to Newcastle, ran an antiques business and met a new partner.

We decided to go around Australia in a van, and that trip completely changed my life: I learnt how little materialism I needed. He was a spear fisherman, so we lived pretty much from ocean to plate. If we were cold, we’d go to the op shop for a jacket.

After we broke up six years ago, I bought a big van that I called Buster and started driving it to music festivals, including the Bluesfest Byron Bay and Mundi Mundi Bash. I believe every girl needs a van. A lot of women who see me travelling alone say, ‘I want to do that, but is it safe?’ You just have to be smart about where you stay and arrive before sundown so you can meet people.

I recently sold most of my stuff and downsized to a one-bedroom unit in Melbourne to be closer to my daughter and the city culture. I traded Buster for a smaller pop-up van I call Betty that I can just as easily sleep in as drive to my local shopping centre.

This summer I plan to explore a lot of Victoria and hopefully take Betty on the ship to Tasmania. I also have a goal to see all of Australia’s ‘big’ things. There are more than 375!

I’ve gotten to the point in my life where I have everything I need. I can’t rely on anyone else to prop me up so I live frugally in full ‘pension mode’, except for the occasional bottle of French champagne. It’s such a free life.”

”I was 46 years old when my husband Dan told me he didn’t love me any more and wanted to break up so that he could find love again. Four years later he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer; he passed away 11 months after that.

Watching someone I loved very dearly die – and watching my kids watch their dad die – was horrific, and it made me re-evaluate the way I was living. I wrote a list of what I was going to do to live differently. I was going to downsize, swear more, eat more lollies, tell my kids I love them every day, live in Italy and fall in love with someone who adored me … and we’d have knee-quaking sex.

I called it my ‘life list’ and eventually wrote a book about it [The Life List]. I’ve been systematically ticking things off ever since.

After Dan and I separated, I just wanted to focus on my kids – who were 17, 15 and 13 at the time – and my business, but, eventually, I was ready to meet someone. I met Jean-Francois online in 2023, and he told me one of his goals was to live in Italy. I was so intentional about finding someone who shared my values; he says he was waiting for me.

In February 2025, we went to Sicily, Italy, to look for the perfect place and discovered a historic palazzo building that had been abandoned for decades. As soon as we walked through its ancient door and saw the tiles in the entrance and marble staircase, we fell in love, purchased it and are now restoring it with the goal to spend six months of the year there.

During my marriage, I outsourced all the finances to my husband, but, suddenly, I had to completely teach myself about wealth and investing. It was a painful learning curve but now I completely own my financial freedom.

Since my break-up, I’ve learned to live more spontaneously and with joy and momentum. And when you have momentum, you see more opportunities. I’m proof that you can reinvent yourself, and that it is never too late to become financially independent.”

Get the best of Sunday Life magazine delivered to your inbox every Sunday morning. Sign up for our newsletter.

Some couples explore swinging to recharge their marriage. I propose an alternative solution.

“Sometimes what I overhear affects me greatly.”

Twice engaged and once married and divorced, the influencer says she has “never been happier” as she steps into a new TV role.

You have reached your maximum number of saved items.

Remove items from your saved list to add more.

You've used all of your gift articles. 3 more will become available on the 1st of every month.