Songlines, ceremony and small steps: The search for hope among the men of Alice Springs

Elders and leaders also highlighted the importance of embedding shared decision-making into Northern Territory and national governance.

Alice Springs cultural consultant Raymond Walters, who works in communities across the Central Desert, also calls for more input from the Indigenous community on how to deal with the domestic, family and sexual violence problems.

“The funding is directed at seeing (all of) them as a problem rather than providing opportunities for them to grow,” Walters says. “It’s about autonomy, community control and co-design and men leading. They know what is best for them, based on their own priorities and aspirations.

“Men talk about healthy relationships and standing together against domestic violence. It’s challenging given the level of alcohol-fuelled violence, and ice is out of control and the impacts. Men are kind of lost at the moment.”

Walters stresses the importance of better service alignment and better language alignment. “Men are looking at educational opportunities, learning about how to mitigate jealousy, how to unpack the insecurities that we carry and that can align back to the lack of employment, and being a contributor in the family and community.

“Also there is a disconnect in counselling services and the need for family counselling. Men in prisons are learning about healthy relationships but then on the outside we don’t have anything (counselling) together with our wives.”

Looking to address and promote healthy, respectful relationships between young men and women are local sporting organisations such as Redtails Pinktails Right Tracks Foundation.

Kaleel Ross, a promising young footballer contracted to play for West Adelaide in the SANFL competition next year, came through the Redtails/Pinktails program as a teenager, and is a strong advocate for the benefits of their mixed-gender training and learning.

“It teaches young fellas to not be sexist, that we’re all equal, we’re all the same, we’re all learning and trying to improve ourselves,” he says.

Ross grew up in a strong family with parents who made many sacrifices and implemented strict family rules on school attendance, graduation and learning about culture.

Ross brims with pride when he talks about the importance of culture. “I did my cultural business, it’s a big thing here, young lads go out and learn about their skin names, their dreaming. Every community is strong with their culture. It’s not dying off, everyone is learning culture, their language, becoming a man and understanding all that stuff. It’s a good thing because you get respected by people when you come out, and you have more respect for your mother and women.”

Ross’s father Lachlan is proud of his son, but is less optimistic. He laments losing generations of men to substance abuse “It causes a lot of dysfunction within the family, violence and abuse against our women. Culturally we need to get hold of this generation now and put them on the right path. It’s sad with my people. I’m angry, but I’m sad, we’re not respecting our old people.”

Western Arrernte man Issaha Forbes is spending the afternoon with his family outside their home in Hoppy’s town camp. It’s a dream desert setting just outside Alice, among outcrops of rustic red hillocks and boulders.

His daughter Tahlaiyah is sporting her new dress especially made for the NAIDOC cabaret that she’ll attend in the evening, while the younger kids play on the swing in the front yard.

Forbes is a proud family man now, but with a familiar story of youthful dysfunction and time in juvenile detention. “Growing up I was running amok, found myself with the wrong crowd at the wrong time and started following their tracks and hit juvy twice when I was a teenager,” he says.

“Eventually, I realised that I don’t want to stay inside of here most of my life, and went out and did ceremony. My old man took me and from there I never looked back. I got back with my partner (Louise) and eventually had kids.”

Forbes considers himself fortunate to have a strong father figure. One, however, with a very different life experience who grew up without his natural parents, as a stolen generation victim.

“My old man didn’t know his family, was in and out of foster (care). Eventually (he) met mum and changed things for themselves. He said to me, be thankful and grateful that I’m here to lead you and show you the right way.

“A lot of men are like a closed book and don’t want to open up and talk about what they’re going through with their mates.”

Forbes sees ceremony as an important factor in changing male behaviour and opening up conversations to share the challenges they face.

“Every summer I try to get out to ceremony. I got my ceremony brothers out there, out bush, so it’s more reason for me to go out there, spend time with them and do the learning process.

“To understand the responsibilities and expectations for family and community and how I can be better, instead of being like the 90-95 per cent of Indigenous people being behind bars. We gotta try and change that somehow.”