My colleagues exclude me from conversations. Why are people so rude?

If anything happens like this more than a few times, I think it is healthy to ask ourselves if there is anything we might be inadvertently doing that causes people to react this way. Think honestly about whether you tend to join a conversation and then interrupt, dominate, correct people, complain, tell long stories or steer every discussion back to yourself. Do you approach networking as an exchange between equals, or as an opportunity to find someone useful? Sometimes we are excellent at opening the circle but less aware of the effect we have once inside it.

Ask a trusted colleague who has seen you at these events for candid feedback: “I found it difficult to connect with people at the conference. Is there anything in the way I approach groups or participate in conversations that might be putting people off?” Then listen without getting defensive – genuinely listen to learn.

My government workplace has been restructured, and my role is disappearing. I can apply for a new position at my existing level, which I would probably secure, but I may also be offered a more senior industry role with similar pay. The difficulty is that the industry position is entirely remote, with no office. I live alone, enjoy the social side of work and worry that full-time remote work would become lonely. Should I pursue advancement or try my luck in the new government structure?

I wouldn’t dismiss the industry role just because of a fear of loneliness, but I wouldn’t ignore that risk either. Given you live alone, the social aspect of any position you accept is an incredibly important component of the offering and not just a “nice to have”.

Before you decide, I would try to find out as much as you can about what it means to be “entirely remote” and whether there is any possibility of working in an office environment. Try to speak to someone you know who works in the team and ask how often they meet face-to-face and what an ordinary week feels like.