From Sunday school to writing sex scenes: How this bestselling author gets it so right

Each week, Benjamin Law asks public figures to discuss the subjects we’re told to keep private by getting them to roll a die. The numbers they land on are the topics they’re given. This week, he talks to Min Jin Lee. The US writer, 57, is the author of Free Food for Millionaires and Pachinko – one of The New York Times′ 100 Best Books of the Century. Her third novel is American Hagwon.

You were raised a good Presbyterian, right? Guilty. My grandfather was one of the very early Presbyterian ministers in Korea, so I grew up a “churched” kind of gal. I even taught Sunday school. So I love church, and have always loved church.

Every Sunday morning? Yep, every Sunday I go to church. Wherever I am in the world – I go to church on Sundays. I love the idea of God and I love church.

What do you love about them? I love the idea of the Divine. I love the idea of grace and the idea of unmerited favour: that even though we don’t deserve it, we can get love. But I don’t like the cruelty of judgment, I don’t like hypocrisy and I don’t like lying. People talk about all these things when it comes to why people hate Christians so much, and I totally understand that.

To what sins are you most susceptible? I hold grudges.

Who are you holding a grudge against at the moment? About half a dozen people.

Is there anything in scripture that says, “Thou shalt not hold grudges”, though? Well, you’re certainly not loving your neighbour. And you know what a grudge is? It’s feeling self-righteous.

Sure. But you and I are Asian. Culturally, we hold grudges. Intergenerational grudges, even. That’s funny [laughs]. But we’re also well-read. And we know better than to feel self-righteous. Because everybody has their own story, right? That’s where I feel like I really f--- up: I’ll harbour these grudges, and I know that I don’t know the whole story, but I’m still angry at these people. I think that’s very small of me.

You don’t strike me as a self-righteous or sanctimonious person, though. I really, really, really try to rein it in. But there’s a part of me that just really wants to go, like, I wish I could smoke him.

What are your commandments for good writing? Thou shalt be fair. I write an omniscient point of view so, in a way, I’m acting like God. I know everything about every character. And every one of my characters, I try to love like my child – even the very bad ones. Even if he did something terrible, I’m trying to understand, why would you do that?

You were 22 when you met your husband, Chris. What attracted you to him initially? Oh, he was so handsome. He had physical beauty that felt objective to me. If someone had said to me, “You’re cute” or “You’re attractive,” I wouldn’t say that it wasn’t true: I’d feel like it’s very subjective. But I felt like he had objective beauty, and I thought, “I wonder what that’s like?” Then I thought, “Oh, well, at least I’ll dance with this person.”

What keeps you attracted to him? Well, my friend said to me a long time ago that your partner should be “visually nourishing”. I’ll never forget it because I thought, “Oh, it’s true.” He’s very visually nourishing to me still and I’m grateful for it. Also, I feel so deeply loved by him, so I feel safe. Women really like that.

When do you feel your sexiest? You know what’s really sexy? When I sleep seven-and-a-half hours.

How do you write a good sex scene? I’m actually very good at writing sex. I’ve been told this by lots of people.

So many authors write bad sex scenes, though! How do you get it right? Well, I really imagine the desire, not the sex. It’s about the dance. When seduction’s happening, there’s a power play and a submission that occur.

What’s the sexiest book you could recommend to a reader? Silk – a very, very slim book – by Alessandro Baricco.

When you were a teenager, you came down with a pretty serious illness … Yeah, I learnt about my chronic hepatitis B carrier status when I was 16. Then, when I was 32, I had liver cirrhosis.

How bad did things get? Really bad. I couldn’t hold a cup. When I was walking up the stairs, the backs of my heels were so painful. Initially, I didn’t know that it was my liver.

Did the diagnosis feel like a kind of death sentence for you? Oh, yeah. When I was in college, I was told that I would get liver cancer in my 20s or 30s. That’s why I quit being a lawyer. I thought, “Well, if I’m going to die young, I’m going to live fully.” I mean, I’m a very practical person.

How is your health now? I had cirrhosis at 32 and then I had Interferon beta-1b as an experimental drug. And now I’m fully cured.

Wow. Do you feel lucky? There’s so much gratitude now but, at 20, I didn’t feel lucky: I felt cursed. Being an immigrant child, I was already a very mature young person, and then I became 100 very quickly. I’ve always been a sort of ancient human being.

Given the time it takes to write your books, do you ever worry you might die before finishing them? All the time. But the only thing that I can control is quality. So whenever I worry about mortality, I think, “Let me at least control the quality.” Everything else will have to sort itself out.

What do you want your legacy to be? Well, just this morning, I was talking to this high school class that is reading Free Food for Millionaires, which I published in 2007. There was a part of me that really felt like, “You know what? My work is built to last.” I will leave these books behind, and I hope they’re useful.

American Hagwon is out September 29.

diceytopics@goodweekend.com.au

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